Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
