This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
it glows. i had to have it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
