Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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