I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
