margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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