I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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