every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
