I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
