But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
