Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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