Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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