One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
