u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
