is your mom at the bar?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
