I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
