He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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