so explain again why im purple
no
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
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