i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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