What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
