so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
