I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
