so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
this will be a night to untag.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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