I love black thongs
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
