Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
