i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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