Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you had me at cake vodka
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
