Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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