mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
