She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
