I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
