He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
