I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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