I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
