Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
