these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
