that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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