'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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