That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
