I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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