it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
