around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Another day, another engagement, another cat
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
