We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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