Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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