i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
