The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
