You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
