woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
