I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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