dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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