I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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