And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
